Machas and Padayappa ideals

The infamous dialogue in Padayappa used to impose on women that are hailed by machas as the manual on how a woman should be. Let me debunk this dialogue one by one:

1. Pombele na porumai venum, avasara pada kudathu (As a woman, you have to be patient, shouldn’t be rash)
Patience and hastiness are gender blind values. To assign these values only to women and not men is what resulted in the PD woman slashing incident. Patience is coveted in both man and woman. My grandpa was a patient macha while my grandma was an impatient meenachi. Their opposed poles nature balanced out their marriage. There is no such thing as patience being the virtue of a woman. Goddess Kaali and Durga manifest as high dudgeon when faced with injustice and evil. Even Bhoomi Maatha’s patience has its limits.

2. Pombele na adakkam venum, aathira pada kudathu (As a woman, you have to be subservient, not get livid)
Submission of women is a convenient way for patriarchy to grow in a replete fashion where women’s scope is inhibited. If women of previous generations stayed subservient and repressed anger, then women of today won’t be able to vote and hold incumbent positions in a democracy – The Suffragette movement. If Ambiga Sreenevasan didn’t get angry at all the political shenanigans happening in our country and organised the Bersih rallies, political awareness will remain low among Malaysian folks, on how important free and fair elections are in a democracy. When the cause is right, women getting mutinous and angry is justified. There is a value to anger, especially to a woman’s anger. Blind anger only brings misery to both genders. Padayappa also says “Anger is the cause of all misery. One should learn how to control it, else, life will become miserable.” This advice is gender neutral so of course machas turn a Nelson’s eye on it.

3. Amaithi venum, athigaram panna kudathu (As a woman you have to be like sheeple, shouldn’t be authoritative)
Composure or level headedness is a skill, not a woman’s deportment. If one is able to keep calm in intense situations, presence of mind will help resolve the situation’s tense nature, for example, Kamal’s composure in Papanasam. As for authority, if anyone thinks women shouldn’t be authoritative I pity their small mindedness. Women have led and are leading nations, Margaret Thatcher, Indira Gandhi, Benazir Bhutto, Maria Estella Martínez, Mary Robinson, Julia Gillard, Dilma Rouseff, Gloria Arroyo and the current Germany’s PM Angela Merkel. Single mothers are a one woman army, leading their family into headway, playing both the roles of a father and a mother. It’s not an anomaly for women to be authoritative – it’s leadership skills and women are capable leaders. Women aren’t destined to only be followers.

4. Kattupadu venum, ippadi kattakudathu (As a woman, you have to be self controlled, shouldn’t bite heads off/scream/yell/raise voice)
Again, self control is crucial for humans, not only for women. Actually men need self control more than women because men are the ones who succumb to blind anger which they justify as manliness. Manliness isn’t reflected in a guy telling a woman what to wear, how to behave so that he won’t be provoked into harassing/raping her – it’s reflected in him keeping both his mind and dick in control. About screaming. Who scream their lungs out in theaters when Kollywood heroes make their screen presence? Yes, meenachis do too but much lesser than machas. Who fights at mamak stalls or clubs at a kurang ajar and langsi parve after isi tank? Yes, meenachis do too and I call them stupid for fighting over a gangster macha. Who needs kattupadu (self control) more here?

5. Bayabakthi ah irukanum, ippadi bajari thanam pannakudathu (As a woman, you have to be fearfully devotional, shouldn’t be like a she-devil)
Being coy is a waste of capacity. At an age fighting for gender equality, gender stereotypes need to be broken. Proposing is not a guy’s onus. As a girl, if you like a guy, fucking go and tell him instead of waiting. Make the first move in telling a guy how you feel about him. Enough of letting men do all the proposal stuff. Nowhere it is written that only guys should propose. Also, breaking into male dominated fields like army, space exploration and aeronautics. On being devilish, I find it empowering women. Being devilish means speaking your mind, not afeared by limitations. Ashwinii Tamil Chelvan, who studies in AUW was a shy girl. That girl, went to New York to speak on behalf of Malaysia. Malala Yousafzai was shot in the head and she was hell bent on being devilish as far as Taliban was concerned and she won a Nobel Prize for that and earned the laud of Obama and Jon Stewart to name a few. So, yes, be devilish ladies and break the boundaries. It will take you places.

To say how a woman should be and how a man should be is not a good idea because people are diverse. One simply cannot clump attributes on how a woman and a man should be. There is no manual attached to vaginas and there is no manual attached to penises that say how vaginas should be a vagina. So, machas, the Padaiyappa ideals you hold so dear have been gunned down like a boss.