Chennai colleges, where boys and girls are forbidden from talking to each other - how it's harmful

If you think the student atmosphere at Chennai engineering colleges is like the ones we see in Tamil movies like Kaloori, Inidhu Inidhu, Ninaithale Innikkum, Kadhal Desam,KO, Oru Kallooriyin Kathai, April Maathathil, even Boys, you're sorely mistaken.

 

When the Sun TV program, Solunga Anne Solunga (Talk Bro, Talk) is conducted in colleges in Chennai, always the boys and girls are interviewed by Iman Annachi separately, never together. I was baffled until I got to know that boys and girls are forbidden from talking to each other in Chennai colleges, along with a host of rules that are ridiculous even schools to have. And, as a prefect from an all girls school, I know all too well about ridiculous rules, rules that are burdening at times. 

I'd say that most of the rules for girls are not only ludicrous but contribute to the misunderstanding of girls compounded by Tamil movies' cinematic liberties where girls are made into butts of jokes, the reason for failure in the lives of guys and that women exist only to listen and behave in accordance with what men want and think as right, compounded by patriarchal culture. 

And, when boys and girls are not allowed to communicate in the most crucial age in their lifetime, this only aggravates such misunderstanding and prejudiced slant against girls on behalf of boys - they can't grasp the fact that girls have a mind of their own and their own likes, dislikes, ambitions and aspirations. How many Tamil movies show girls as ambitious, independent or successful? Even if they do, they portray such women as callous, hard-bitten and arrogant and assign a hero, who is often, of lower strata, jobless and aimless to subdue her, using the only status of being a 'man'. It's either that or the woman would be put in her rightful place of not ever naysaying a man or be reprimanded for doing/wearing something that the hero doesn't approve - mansplaining, blaming the woman herself for becoming a victim and ambitious. 

 

Countless Tamil movies have extended that ideology endorsed by Tamil movie heroes who have a massive fan following who take what they say on screen as word of god.

And in institutions of higher learning where communication between opposite sexes is forbidden, young people, specifically boys, learn how to approach girls from Tamil movies which often boils down to stalking. They view women as objects and that they should fall in love with their stalker just like the girls do in the movies. When that doesn't happen, murder and acid attacks due to jilted love happen, magnified by our culture that restricts men from crying and venting out emotions other than anger. I'd say these guys don't know better especially if their only outlet of understanding girls is Tamil movies. And then, you go forbid guys and girls from interacting with each other in college so how will they even know that stalking is creepy for girls and definitely not the way to impress a girl in real life? You don't permit girls talking to boys when it's human nature as social animals so guys are only left with the option of stalking, fueled by Indian movies. And, because of this suppression, guys send random friend requests to girls on Facebook and don't know how to talk to girls. 

You know, the guys who create memes demeaning girls on Facebook and the guys who kill a girl because she refused to accept his love are the ones who are unable to get girls either as friends or as a girlfriend and fail to understand that girls have their ambitions, aspirations, opinions, likes and dislikes that need to be respected. Due to this ignorance and lack of healthy communication and respect for girls, they gang up and trash girls and in worst cases kill girls. 

Like said before, Tamil entertainment doesn't help, giving skewed perception on girls and these guys just lap it up - there are numerous love failure songs that simply describe girls as scourges of boys' lives. Understanding and the knowledge of both genders being on the same platform is paramount here - girls getting an education just like boys isn't enough. We girls are not evil and neither we should be always subdued by men and shouldn't say no for your advances. Girls are humans just like guys. Don't view us like some wicked witches set to destroy the lives of guys. Talk to us, get to know us, our ambitions, aspirations, abilities, likes and dislikes and your perception will change. Here, Samuthrakanni breaks the firewall that Tamil entertainment has long created when it comes to girls.

The colleges of Chennai really need to re-examine their rules for the sake of the betterment of the younger generation. The reason the college authorities came up with this rule is late adolescence is the age where love blooms and if girls and boys are let to communicate, it will lead to love and moral decay. Proper and full fledged learning cannot take place in a restricted environment where opposite sexes are alienated. Don't adults have faith in today's youth, that they can be friends and enrich each other's lives? Why do you need to jump gun and decide that this is how the relationship between and male and female can be? I as a girl, have guy friends and yes, they are friends. I am not sleeping with them. Don't underestimate the strength and convictions of youth. Gender specific restrictions and restrictions particularly for girls only enforces patriarchy and doesn't bring any good in any circumstance. Stop enforcing patriarchy in higher learning institutions. And, so what if love happens?



If I may add, this restriction on boys and girls not talking to each other as they can fall in love in colleges is not even due to patriarchy or moral decay. It's due to casteism. 

"Reputation is because of casteism!! Proponents of casteism., who view love marriages terribly,. basically don't want individuals to make relationships during their course of study.

These institutions provide a place ensuring parents that their kid will never get into any relationship in those 4 years.

Only solution they came up with is "boy-boy talk, girl-girl talk, boy-girl no talk". Every other rule is to supplement that primary goal. I never knew my democratic nation gave some institutions the right to take away my freedom to interact with my friends.

Fortunately this idea actually works to a certain extent.. number of individuals getting into relationship in these type of colleges are negligible when compared to a well cultured college.

Colleges and parents strive hard to stand with their view that falling in love at this age is not a disciplinary behaviour and only task for a student is to study., after all that is what for a student is there in college.

Colleges just tries to meet that demand... its totally minds of parents who put their kid into such a place..

Some of IT companies(not all yet??) did boycotted some of these colleges in recruiting for their bad culture.

For colleges, business model works.. their typical response would be "we would continue to do what we had been doing all these years, its totally up to you to choose the college or to ignore it" which is much like government saying "Drinking is injurious to health" still keeping the liquor shops open."

Don't victimize the next generation for your sick and regressive ideals is the message this article intends to forward. Hope someone takes note and initiate to change the status quo.