Marrying a guy only because he was your high school sweetheart - not a wise move girls

Sometimes, love that blossomed in secondary school ends up in wedding bells. Nothing wrong in that, admirable actually. But when the guy shows signs of irresponsibility, has cadging behavior and in all, unmotivated to make his life infinitely better, now we have a problem.

My cousin married her high school sweetheart 2 months ago and already she’s facing problems due to his job skipping and non self improving nature - guy doesn’t even have a driving license. So why did she marry him anyway? It’s because of love and the fallacious belief that she can change him. We have stressed countless times that love alone is not enough for life and that unless someone wants to change himself/herself there’s jackshit you can do to turn them around.

When we say that financial stability is crucial for wedded bliss, every macha Tom, Dick and Harry call us materialistic - even having enough food and water is materialistic, a macha quoted. Veede katti paar, kalyanam panni paar nu solluvange (Try building a house, try getting married) This adage holds a lot of meaning. Marriage is a responsibility. While banking in on love is required, equally required is some form of financial safety contained in prudence - we’re not talking about vetti selevu here, teddy bears, flowers, Valentine cards. We’re talking about mortgage/rent, car loan, insurance, medical card, groceries, petrol, electric, water, phone, internet bills, emergency funds, savings - as the kids arrive, diapers, milk formula, insurance, clothes, books, education. You can’t barter trade all these expenses with love. My cousin is forgoing having kids coz she doesn’t trust her husband will be able to pitch in to raise kids - his salary is not even enough for himself. Imagine how anguished she is to say like this.

Many girls stick to their first love because they are afraid of having a past and it doesn’t help with the over scrutiny on a girl’s history and the senju brand. This is plainly cruel and unfair you know - for every girl with a past, there is a guy with a past so why is only the past and the breakup of a girl dissected? Everyone makes mistakes contained in naivety or ignorance and it’s unfair to judge them solely based on their past, guy or girl, especially when they repent and open for change. Doesn’t a guy see many girls before settling for the one most suitable? Doesn’t a girl be seen by many guys before settling for the one suitor? Take having a past like that. If you want to dwell in the past, you fail to live in the present - everyone needs to understand that.

Also, there is revenge meted out on the girl by the guy post breakup. This also acts as a fear factor that forces girls to stick to their bfs no matter how of abysmal quality the latter may be.

Dear girls, YOLO. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions. Love is beautiful but if it’s going to make your overall life hard, it’s best for you to think it over and make a wise decision, whether or not your high school sweetheart is worth marrying especially if he is unwilling to improve and evolve to suit life’s demands.

~Assault Ambujam~ #OnlyAtKK