Single Indian Women in their 30s’ and Negative Labelling against them

In today’s context, there are a number of Indian women who are highly educated and are in good employment. These women have long passed what the Indian society terms as prime age of 20-29 years old to get married. Somehow, the society decides that women of 30 and above age do not make good marriage/life partners. They are labelled ‘aunty’ simply because they have reached 30 years old even if they still look like 20 something girls.

Then, this labelling will continue with the society further degrading them as ‘tak laku’ (no demand) and coerce them to marry any shit/karat/useless machas who are available. This is regardless of the woman’s standing professionally. She can be the CEO of a company, a pilot, a lawyer or a scientist professionally but she will be looked upon as a rejected, undesirable girl among her relatives. Remarks like ‘how long are you going to stay single?” ‘are you planning to be avayar kelevi?’ ‘You need someone to take care of you’ will be uttered each time these ladies attend weddings or any other events where the Indian society flocks. Or worst ‘yaarume kadaikiliya?” (didn’t you get anyone?)

First of all, the Indian society needs to bear in mind that single Indian women who are well into their 30s are there by choice. You will see these women juggling various responsibilities from career, education to personal development all in one go. They have ambitions and they work very hard to achieve it. So, most women who fall in this category are still single because getting married is not yet a priority to them. Not because they are rejected or don’t have a market demand. Then, when a single Indian woman says she is not interested in getting married and settling down – there will be another round of insulting remarks on her character. Especially when she states that she doesn’t want her freedom to be restricted by marriage.

What she meant was she wanted total liberation in indulging in her hobbies, interests and ambitions. How the Indian society sees this – she must be a whore who goes clubbing and gets drunk, she must be a slut who prefers men for sex, she must be a lesbian, she is not a good woman, she is vandi who enjoys life with open relationship etc. Or they might think – she is thimiru (with education and good job) and she might lead a suspicious life in the big city (KL) by getting involved with many men). If she keeps on refusing marriage, you can be assured that there will be efforts to check with temple priest whether she has any obstacles in getting a life partner AND numerous ridiculous ceremonies to be conducted just to get a life partner.

Getting married and having a life partner is desirable when you can get someone who is compatible with you. Indian women today may look for partners who are equally compatible in terms of intellect and education. Hence, they will be reluctant to settle down with someone who is less qualified. So, leave them alone? Don’t irritate them with questions like ‘when are you going to get married? Or try to do them a favour by match making them with some karat machas who are not even qualified to stand by them.

Getting married is not as easy as those days where you get the potential mappilai to come over, size the girl up and down based on her physical looks alone for 5 minutes and decides whether he wants her for life. Come on, choosing a life partner today is not as easy as deciding whether you can tolerate looking at that face for the rest of your life – that’s so damn physical. Let single ladies out there marry when they find a suitable candidate on their own or when they feel like getting married. Or else, leave them the f*** alone.