Women becoming impure after being touched by a man - a toxic notion that needs to be stopped

“ Ravana, the evil ruler of Lanka, passed by in his Pushpaka vimana.

He saw this beautiful maiden absorbed in meditation. At once, he brought his

vehicle to a halt and addressed her, ‘My fair lady, what is a young girl like

you doing here meditating? Come with me and be my queen. I will give you all the

riches of the world!’ Vedavati did not listen to him, so the demon got angry and

tried to pull her by the hair. Vedavati became angry and sheared off her hair

with her hands! She said, "O you evil demon! You have disturbed me and made me

impure by your touch! I curse you that in my later birth, I will be the cause of

your death!" She announced this and jumped into a bonfire.”

This is the prime cause why Indians associate a woman’s dignity with whether or not she had been touched by a man before. It’s like if she’s been touched before which is directly proportional to losing virginity, her worth has declined by all points. This is also why revenge porn is so successful in mortifying these girls into the point of suicide - note it being interchangeable into jumping into bonfire. Suicide is seen as the proof of the girl’s goodness, that she has enough dignity to take her life as to not suffer further humiliation.

In a psychological slant, it is normal for people, both men and women who have been touched against their will, read molested/raped to feel dirty and defiled - they’d bathe again and again and even burn the clothes they were wearing when the assault happened. I did that too - i was molested. But, as feminist and social activist Kamla Bhasin puts it, “When I am raped, everyone says I have lost my honor and together with it, the honor of my community. Who put the honor of my community in my vagina? It is the rapist that loses his honor, not his victim.

We have to bring the same attitude when we deal with revenge porn and vandi pages - it is the guys who circulate the footage and images of girls who have no honor and dignity, not the girls. The bodies of girls are not the source of shame and sin. If you must question the upbringing and the family of girls who are featured in such footage then you should also condemn the upbringing of the guy complicit and the male circulator - only then such mortification and deeds will stop and the so called Indian culture’s purity will be preserved. By only humiliating and blaming women and giving impunity to males, citing ‘boys will be boys’ you are only perpetuating the destruction of the Indian culture that you cling on as though your life depends on it. Be harsh on Indian males - don’t excuse their bad behavior that you condemn women do.

Above all, in this age, if you want to go by Vedavati’s chastity standards, then no woman is pure. We work with guys and we can’t help becoming into physical contact with men. So, this notion of purity is outdated.

In a video made by Astro Ulagam, men were questioned whether they will marry a rape victim. 99% of men said they wouldn’t because people will start talking and that they are concerned about honor issues. No one said anything negative about the rape victim, it was all heaped on the rape victim.

Stop treating women as stuff that will go bad if they’re touched too much. If you insist that women who have had premarital sex are 2nd hand and call them used items than you who slept with them are also 2nd hand and used items.

~Assault Ambujam~ #OnlyAtKK