Not knowing cooking isn't a sign of manliness - incapable of preparing your own meal isn't manliness

I was listening to Minnal FM and they were talking about the reasons for domestic violence and the numero uno reason is COOKING. Yes, COOKING, where the wife's cooking isn't tasty enough or not good enough or not like the husband's mother's cooking is the main reason for domestic violence.

The lady RJ thought cooking is a preposterous cause for domestic violence. I agree with her. At KK, we've countered numerous memes that pinpoint that if a girl knows cooking biryani, thosai and can identify what's a pestle and mortar, guys should marry her. That's even ok but humiliating girls for not knowing cooking as though that's what females have been put on earth for, it deserves condemnation.



On KK, we've reiterated that cooking and if I may add, doing household chores aren't a woman's job. Even in our schools, both girls and boys, we're taught cooking and other life skills like tailoring, carpentry and basic electronic works in Kemahiran Hidup (Living Skills) subject. Also, we take turns to clean our classroom, labs, hall, and the school compound. And, those lessons are probably the most useful ones that you learnt in school which values you can apply throughout your life.

Last week, a friend narrated me her story. On a Sunday, her sister-in-law's mother went to KL and her dad and brother were home alone. Her sister-in-law went to their house, cooked for her father and brother. Now, let's say if my friend's sister-in-law lived far away, how will her father and brother cope? Maybe they'd eat out.



The thing is, being unable to cook and do household chores don't signify manliness. It only signifies dependence, incapability and laziness. Every time we counter this gender stereotyping, we get the reprimand of being lazy girls and get asked who cooks in your home, your mother or father. They fail to understand that this is not a battle of sexes but an issue of gender roles. There's a saying, "The way to a man's heart is through his tummy." Now, don't women have tummies and tongues to taste food? Most reputed chefs are men, from Hell's Kitchen Gordon Ramsay to Chef At Home Michael Smith. There is no such thing as cooking is a woman's job. If you need to eat, learn to cook. This is not even feminism or sexism, it's basic survival skill. Note Bear Grylls Man VS Wild.

Neither feminism nor sexism is going to help you when you're hungry - knowing how to cook will. 

By saying men should learn how to cook, I am not saying women should rest on their laurels. When I say basic survival skill, it means everyone, men, women, LGBT, everyone who gets hungry and need to eat. It's about taking care of yourself.

When Indian bachelors live alone, washing their own clothes, cleaning their own living space and cooking their own meals, they're often told, "Yean thaniya irundhu kashta padre, oru kalyanam pannikelam ille?" (Why are you suffering all alone? Get married.) Now wait a second, if I go tell a working woman that why does she need to suffer by working, just get married, all hell will break loose won't it?What, the purpose of a woman is only to be a housemaid for the man she married? Cleaning, cooking and washing are the major difficulty for single men, one that only a woman can redress? Now, you're humiliating men that they are unable to take care of themselves - they need a woman to do that.  Taking care of yourself shouldn't be seen as a difficulty but as a survival thing.

Nowadays women go to work just like men - economic situation demands that and they work at home too, cooking, cleaning. So, is it wrong for men to pitch into the chores rather than ordering coffee as soon as they get back from work and kick back and watch news while the women huff and puff around the house? If women can go to work and earn just like men, why can't men learn to cook and clean just like women? Are men that incapable?

In conclusion, men not knowing how to cook and clean isn't manly. Stop depending on women for your meals, clean laundry and livable home. Women are no longer dependent on men for life's expenses - take a cue from that. If you can't clean up after yourself and make your own meals, it makes you a dependent baby, not a man.

~Assault Ambujam~ #OnlyAtKK