Indian Women – Enabler and Protector of Aggressors
Another important point to look
at if we Indian women are going to achieve a certain level of equality within
the society – why do women protect the very individuals who abuse them? Remember
the marital rape issue? Well, I have started to talk to those friends of mine
who went through such situations. I asked one of them – why don’t you talk to
him or call him out on his behaviour? Inform him that it is marital rape.
Here’s her reply – He does that
sometimes but he is actually a good husband. He works hard and he buys things
for me. He treats me well and takes care of the kids. Sometimes, he is in bad
mood or maybe stressed up – that’s why he acts that way.
Me: Listen to yourself; you are
making excuses for what he did to you. It is plain wrong no matter how well he
treats you. RAPE is RAPE and you are supporting the aggressor.
She: You know – these things are
difficult to talk. He is wrong but he is not a bad husband and I don’t want to
make a big issue out of his one bad attitude.
Me: So, you are going to tolerate
it for the rest of your life?
She: I suppose I have too – I
mean I am married to him – what else can I do? After all, it is my thala vidhi
(fate) as a woman to go through such treatments. There are many worst husbands
and at least he is not that type.
Me: Okay, whatever (I decided I
had enough the moment she attributed her sufferings to being a woman instead of
her failure in addressing the issue in a correct manner).
Marital rape is a tough issue to
deal with when most Indian women ain’t willing to address it with solid action.
They prefer to accept that behaviour from their husbands simply because they
choose to see other positive characteristics of his. The solution of such
problems is very much from within the Indian women themselves.
No, it is not
okay to tolerate marital rape as an exchange for a responsible husband. No, it
is not right to put yourself through sufferings because your husband treats you
like an animal during sex. No, it is not right to feel pain and suffer when sex
is supposed to bring pleasure. No, it is not right for only one person to enjoy
sex while the other partner suffers with physical pain and discomfort. Indian
women need to realize this. While writing this post, I was thinking, if
educated women can accept such attitude from their husbands, what’s more with
uneducated Indian women? What kind of lessons are you teaching your own
children when it comes to treating your partner with dignity and respect? It
looks like a never ending cycle within the Indian society if women refuse to
acknowledge marital rape as a problem and address it with suitable actions.
#RavishingRaven
#KKannammaa
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