Married Women Have the Right to See Their Parents

The story of Sujatha Nagaraj from Malaysia

I had an arranged marriage and I am blessed with 2 children. My problem is, my mother-in-law doesn't like me visiting my parents during weekends.

However, she keeps calling her daughters to come over. And when they are here, she treats them like princesses - I am the one who must serve them hand and foot. My co-sisters won't even enter the kitchen.

I am a daughter of another set of parents - won't they like to have me over like how my mother-in-law likes having her daughters over? Like how her daughters love her and want to see her, don't I love my parents and want to see them?

The thing is, my mother-in-law wants me to serve her daughters - they come over during weekends just as I leave to my parents' - they live two blocks away. Her problem is, when I leave, her daughters will have to cook and serve themselves. She can't take that coz "They cook and clean for their husbands and in-laws all week. When they are home every weekend, they should take rest." Don't I need rest? 24/7 ithungaluke vadichi kottanuma? There are 4 of them, my co-sisters - I used to cook alone to feed 8 people - can't 4 of them cook for 8 people?

My mistake was that I didn't set boundaries from the start - I was naive. In the past, every time I came home for lunch from work, I used to serve rice for everyone.

As days went by, I stopped. I got wiser and I didn't want to enslave myself. This angered my MIL. Lol, at my parents' I also cook. My mom doesn't expect my sister-in-law to serve me and my sisters - we cook, clean, eat, and enjoy as a family.

My MIL complained to the lady who matchmade me with her son. She also told the matchmaker not to find brides whose parents' live nearby. "Then these spoiled girls won't be good wives, good daughters-in-law and good co-sisters. They'll always escape to their parents house. I don't know why such girls get married anyway!"