Gay Indian men and heterosexual marriage

When mentioned gay machas, people usually think of men who dress up like ladies, walk and talk like women and behave like one. Nope, that is a transgender. When we say gay machas, we are referring to machas who prefer men as sexual partners rather than women. There are a number of indian men who are highly educated, have good employment and successful life who are closet gays. No, you can’t just tell whether a macha is a gay or not simply by looking at him because such men rarely disclose their real sexual orientations. This is out of fear of the backlash and judgement that they will receive from their parents and society if the news gets out that they are gays. Especially in a society that is ruled so much by the ‘AMBELE GETHU’ notion, macha being a gay is not acceptable. So, these machas usually keep quiet about their sexual preferences.

Problem arises when these gay machas are forced to get married by their family. Of course, macha can’t open his mouth and say – I don’t prefer a woman, I am sexually attracted to a guy. His parents will be flaunting about how highly educated and successful he is to all potential bride families. So, this macha gets married due to family pressure and for the sake of fulfilling his parents’ wish. What happens next? You see, we are not anti –gay men or men who have different sexual preferences. However, we feel that it is highly irresponsible and cruel of such gay men to ruin the life of a woman by getting married to one.

No matter how hard it is, dear gay machas who prefer men over women – you need to come clean of your sexual preferences to your parents and avoid getting into any marriage alliances. Unless you intend to really honour your wedding vows, it is unfair to destroy a girl’s life by being selfish. Machas who are gay usually have problem having an intimate relationship with any woman. Imagine the wife’s horror when she discovers that her husband is interested in men and has a lover boy on the side?

Most Indian parents go into a state of denial when they are told that their son is a gay who loves men. They refuse to believe that their son has no interest whatsoever with a woman. Indian parents – you are another reason why most ladies out there suffer. You think getting your gay son married will solve the problem? If you think being gay is a disease that can be cured by a woman, then you are dead wrong. Being gay is a sexual preference and you need to respect that. Secondly, imagine your daughter being married to a gay man? Yes, it is something unimaginable so don’t subject other people’s daughter to such situation if you are well aware that your son is a gay.

To Indian society out there who clings tightly to the phrase – oru kaal kattu potha, avan nalla aiduvan (if he gets married, he will get better), please change your mind set. Do not expect a woman to tiruturan (change) a gay macha because the indian woman is not born to change anyone in her life. She does not have to sacrifice her life, being bonded to a gay macha and she certainly does not deserve a gay man as her husband. So quit expecting Indian women to tolerate, change and bear whatever shit the Indian men do. If you daughter is married to a gay man, do advise her to file for divorce and move on with her life. Never ever ask her to put up with her gay husband and change him, you are condemning her to lifelong cruelty. To hell with your manam, mariyathi crap – your daughter’s life and happiness is more important than what you call dignity, name and reputation. We hope this article will help a number of Indian women out there if you are in somewhat similar situation – being married to a gay man and unable to consult anyone regarding your mental traumas.