Machas and their mismanagement of rejection from girls

We all know what happened when the girl in Wechat bluntly said to the macha she added and initiated chat with asked for clarification - which one is him in the pic, blue or black tee. When it’s not the macha that she’s interested in, she plainly spoke her mind and said bye. Macha who had built castles in the air got so butthurt, he publicised the private thing and it was arbitrated publicly. Many machas agreed that the girl was rude. Aama, “I am extremely sorry, I am only interested in the blue shirt guy, please forgive me,” nu sonna mattum vitturivingela? (Will these machas keep quiet if the girl spoke more softly?) They would have said that she’s only after physical looks. Either way, it’s not about how the girl spoke – it’s about machas inability to handle rejection.

What I can’t understand is these are the same machas who put whatsapp status as ‘no love, no trouble’. But you can see that all those he adds and chats with are random girls. When he’s rejected by a girl he puts a butthurt scene, complains to all his male friends and if they could, they’ll do everything they can to shame the girl to atone their butthurtness. But their statuses are a complete paradox to what they do.

In countries like India and Pakistan, if a girl rejects a macha, macha splashes acid on her face – so many such cases. Just because a girl clearly stated that she doesn’t like the guy or denies his overtures, machas in those countries see it fit to hurt the girl as badly as they can or disfigure her. In one recent case, 2 guys in cohorts poured petrol on a girl studying 12th standard and set her on fire because ‘she did not respond properly’ to one of the guy’s advances. This happened in India and the girl died. Needless and mostly senseless. This is on the basis, ‘how can a girl reject me? She needs to be taught a lesson.’ It’s driven by that only no matter the form of of macha post rejection reaction. Those machas in india burnt the girl alive, our machas shamed the girl publicly – that’s the only difference.

I wonder how these machas are going to handle much bigger rejections in their lives? A minor rejection on wechat also these machas can’t stand, i wonder how are they going to stand assignment rejection, dissertation rejection, interview rejection, job rejection, client rejection, proposal rejection, etc? Will you publicize these rejections and call those who rejected them bitch and post the papers’ pics on your Facebook wall to be arbitrated by public? No right? So, why do you need to publicize and defame a girl publicly for rejecting you from the outset because you aren’t the guy she’s looking for? It’s this male entitlement and kosa dappa ambala gethu (male pride) bolstered by our patriarchal culture where it’s mortification if a girl says what’s on her mind directly to a guy - if what she says is not he wants to hear, his ego takes a beating and he’d do things like this to get back at the girl or manase thetikran (console the heart). Layan panna (if entertain) – iva cheap, mela kai podalam, bitch (she’s cheap, can touch her, bitch) Layan panlena (if don’t entertain) – iva kashtam, thimuru pudichethu, bitch (she’s difficult, has headweight, bitch)

You will see every girl as potential gf and when she claims disinterest, she’s a bitch? How about you lying in wait – yeve da kidaipa nu (any girl that i will get?) Utthama Puttiran? (Noble Prince?) Your action after rejection reflects you maturity and resilience. You tagging all your macha friends and shaming the girl in a group neither reflects maturity nor resilience. It shows your infantile slant and extreme weakness in life – well, baboons only feel powerful when in large numbers. You’re not very different.

And the macha’s friends, instead of saying “Cha, Tisha Illana Disha, relax pannu cha, yethuku feel pandre..” (If not Tisha, it’s Disha, relax bro, don’t feel) are exacerbating the situation by goading the guy. And the guy blamed his inferiority complex on the girl. I’ve got a macha who did that to me – to mask his inferiority complex he resorted to shaming me.

Bunga bukan sekuntum and take rejection from a girl like a person of strength. If you feel like crying, cry – there is no shame in a guy crying. Crying is human. But don’t impose your personal disappointment and butthurtness on the person who rejected you in public. You think you’re shaming the girl when all you did was shame yourself. You’re showing the world how inept are you in facing life’s bitter realities. Nowadays, potential employers and your boss are turning to your Facebook to gauge how you are as a person so think twice before posting anything that reflects your poor cognitive coordination when it comes to situations that don’t favor you. The latter goes to meenachis as well. Facebook is not your personal diary. If you let the public read your personal diary, it’s your stature that is at stake.