Mappilai Getthu - Indian son-in-law headweight

Usually, there will be a certain edge and leverage on behalf of mappilai whereby the bride’s parents will usually have some fearful respect just because they gave their daughter away to the guy. We don’t have dowry abuse here but this mappilai getthu is pretty much the same. 

The mappilai macha maybe a no good fellow but just because he is of the status of mappilai, the parents of his wife will have to pander to his unstated whims and do some gestures of respect just because he’s the mappilai although he might treat his parents-in-law like trash.

Mappilai getthu starts at the ponnu pakeraning (come see bride) stage itself where the power of negotiation is oblique to the mappilai side. I even saw this in my own family where the mappilai family fretted that he is being too lenient to the girl, as in him wanting to marry her only - they were a couple. My relatives were talking how the mappilai has completely let go of his leverage and on how the ponnu side won’t respect the mappilai side and have a discernible apathy in appeasing the mappilai side now that the mappilai is on their side.

There is one family I know where their son-in-law gives them 0 respect, doesn’t talk to his wife’s parents and siblings voluntarily and yet the parents invite their son-in-law post Deepavali to give him a non vegetarian feast. Apparently they do this for the sake of their daughter, so that she will be taken care of well by her husband. It’s saddening that just so their daughter’s life will be rosy, the parents have to place their self respect at the feet of their son-in-law like he’s god who has put vazhkai pichai (the alm of life) for their daughter.

Another family I know has the mappilai constantly calling his MIL and accuse his wife of terrible things which are untrue. The lady really got mortified and in turn vilifies her daughter while the son-in-law watches from the sidelines in glee.

Respect shouldn’t come by the virtue of relation, respect should come by the virtue of actions. To mappilais and their families out there, the family of the bride and the bride are not your doormat. Treat them with respect and don’t trample over them like you’re entitled to it.