Indian girls and saving marriages

I grew up listening to the elders in the house talking about how some random women walked out of their marriages. One good example came from my aunt who was bitching about two guys who were royally told to go fuck themselves when the wives filed for divorce. Now, here’s what she said in her own words:

“Pudikile na, kalyanam minnuke sole vendi thane, ippo vanthu divorce ketta? Pavom, the Indian guys – nalla paiyanungge’

Translation – if they don’t like, they should tell before the wedding, now they are asking for divorce? Pity the Indian guys – they are good guys.

I was taken aback with the shallowness of judgement displayed by my aunt. You see, divorce has nothing to do with informing whether you like your spouse or not before marriage.

Many couples, even those who like their partners before marriage, may discover shitty attitude and behavior that puts them off after marriage. Some Indian wives may realize that their husbands are abusive and cruel after marriage. The chameleon attitude (pachunthithanam is only obvious in many Indian guys right after marriage when they show their true color). So, how do you say No before marriage when you discover the problem right after marriage?

Here, what is obvious is the fact that Indian women aren’t supposed to initiate divorce no matter what. The society sees it as something outrageous and only the Indian men has a right to discard a woman through divorce. If an Indian woman files for divorce, then she has not been taught well and simply doesn’t know Indian culture of tolerating her husband. Somehow the 'avan nallavana, kettevana, avan kude kadaisi varaikum valnum nu sambrathayam teriyum " dialogue by Vijay in Priyamanaval comes to mind right before this scene below:

Such movie scenes enforce that women should always stay by their husbands no matter what and this becomes the biggest bottleneck for the Indian women when they wanted out from a marriage.

Due to years of such social conditioning, many Indian women tend to suffer in silence before they even contemplate divorce as a solution. Most of these Indian women are educated, have well-paying jobs and are totally capable of being on their own. What stops them from seeking help out of unhappy marriages through divorce is the pressure by family members and society to tolerate abusive relationships. Somehow the Indian society thinks it is okay to be in an unhappy marriage rather than to be single and happy.

A distant relative of mine was earning much as a single lady and she was forced to marry a lorry driver. He used up all her savings and gave her gold necklaces to his mistress. She died of cancer and misery. This is what happens when you force a single, well earning woman to marry any random asshole, Indian guys for the sake of getting married. The women are stuck with no way or support to be on their own as the society still never approves divorce as a salvation. Most Indian women were told to go back to their husband even at the cost of their lives. However, until today, nothing stops the Indian society from continuously pressuring and forcing Indian girls to get married to random strangers.

We still accept that marriage is the best thing that happens to a girl and that she should do everything within her power to save it. Along the way, she ends up losing her life or succumbs to physical injuries due to the ignorance displayed by society.When are we going to put a full stop to this and allow Indian women to choose divorce without feeling guilty about their decisions?