Taking Care of Parents - Are We Really 'Taking Care"?

I am going to break the belief that parents can only be taken care of when their married son/sons live under live under the same roof as them.

Then how do married daughters take care of their parents? They are not living with their parents no matter if they live with their husband's family or live separately. 

My widowed aunt has 3 sons and a daughter. All of them are married and none of them live with my aunt. She was living with her husband and after his demise, she and the maid live in the house.

My aunt doesn't have her married sons living with her. Yet she lives a queen's life.

The first thing that her children did is get her a car - so that she will learn driving. She took a driving license and gets whatever she wants by herself. If she wants to see her grandkids, she simply drives to see them. My cousins make sure that their mother isn't running after their children, wiping running noses and changing their diapers - they do it themselves because their children is their responsibility. Their mother's responsibility is over by raising them.

They visit their mother at least thrice a week to see to her extra needs - like doctor's appointments, the bills, if the house needs any repair, the car's condition and simply to see how she's doing. The daughter pulls her weight too - she keeps track of the house's fridge and pantry content. She stocks em up with victuals and often takes her mother and the maid out to eat.

My aunt goes overseas either by herself or accompanied by her kids/DILs. Her relationship with her daughter-in-laws and son-in-law is very good. When she had a cataract operation, it was her youngest DIL who took care of her along with her daughter.

My aunt's policy, "If my sons stay with me, they won't be able to be fully independent. They belong to their wives. They should make a grand life of their own." True to form, her youngest son bought a 3 storey bungalow recently - he has 2 other houses. This is material wealth wise.  

My aunt's children's policy, "My mother should be independent and live her life - see the world."

So, if I ever hear the bullshit that it's necessary for sons to stay with their parents to take care of them, I look daggers.

And, naama apdiye namma parents ah take care pandrom.. Avangaloda EPF money, lifetime deposit ah soranditu, financial independence illama pannitu, kudave namma pullingale paathuka vechikrom. Keata, taking care ah ma. Ithukku mudiyor illame better - they can relax, have friends and have hobbies.