Validating Lies to get Married

The title does not need any further explanation as many Indian families have done this just to get their sons married. I am going to share here a few cases that have occurred in Malaysia where the groom family lies in order to get married.

Case 1 - Lies on the Job/Employment

A case happened in Johor where a nurse agreed to marry an engineer only to find out that he is a security guard. The bride's family was appalled and really decided to pull off the marriage. However, the bride later on agreed to marry the guy simply because so much of money has been spent on preparing the wedding.Upon confronting the guy, he started saying - what's wrong with being a security guard? If he thinks there is nothing wrong with his job, why did he hide it in the first place?

Then, another case involved an Indian family who married off their only daughter to a guy who was said to be employed in Kelantan. They found out that the guy is not employed in reality and he also has some medical conditions which was not disclosed initially after a few months of marriage. The girl filed for divorce and walked away after that. What is common among these cases is the fact that the families with sons just wanted to hand over their responsibilities towards the wife instead of forcing him to get a job. They prefer to easily wash off the sons through marriage by finding a working girl who can 'sooru poduren' for him for the rest of his life.

This character in Remo which thinks cheating a doctor is cool in order to win her heart .

Case 2 - Lies on previous criminal records

A number of Indian guys from the middle class family may have previous criminal records with the police. However, such information were not disclosed to the bride's family due to fear of rejection. When confronted, some Indian families will deny knowing that their sons' actually have criminal records with the police. Some may question - What's wrong with criminals getting married, don't they deserve a life/second option? See, it is not about second option but about the security of the bride/wife. Men with previously known criminal activities or violence may physically harm or assault their wife and kids. But many Indian families think these information does not matter especially if it involves their sons.

Case 3 - Lies on health condition/diseases

Health consciousness is very low among the Indians and for them, it is all about getting their sons married at any cost - even if it means hiding a disease or any pre-existing medical conditions. From diabetes to high blood pressure or even AIDS, Indian families with sons will not disclose such information to the bride family. This does not only display selfishness but also places the bride at potential risks of getting infected as well. This gets even worst when in Malaysia only muslim couples were asked to take medical test before getting married to prevent those with HIV infection from getting married. One male colleague, an Indian guy of the age 50 actually asked me - so, marriage is no longer based on love but health condition is it? I asked him - so, you are okay with your daughter marrying a guy with HIV positive? He kept quiet but his mentality is what many Indians have - that love should justify anything and everything including lies. 

 This video is about a girl who got infected from her husband who has HIV .

There are many other factors that were either hidden or withhold until after marriage  so that the families can marry off their sons. Why do they dare to do such thing? Simply because there is a saying that goes this way - oru kalyanathe nadathe, nooru poi sollalam (you can tell 100 lies to conduct a marriage). However, such lies are only for families with sons as they are banking on the fact that once married, an Indian woman is stuck with her husband no matter what. A friend informed that this phrase actually carries a different meaning and the meaning has been twisted to justify lies over the time.

But this pattern is vanishing as more and more Indian women are daringly filing for divorce instead of being stuck in such marriages. Of course, such women were condemned as fast to file for divorce and were not well taught by their parents to behave according to the great Indian culture. Marriage that is initiated on top of lies will not last long but many Indian families have yet to release this. They think everything will be ok once the 'thali' has been tied.

#RavishingRaven

#KKannammaa