Expecting a financially stable guy to get married to is dowry that Indian women take - REALLY?

Every time I say anything regarding dowry, Indian men are quick to retort that the bride and her family expecting a bridegroom that's well heeled, having a house, vehicle, a well paying job and a bursting bank account is dowry that Indian women take.

First, let me explain how nature works in the game of procreation in lieu with evolution and survival of the fittest:

It's biological for any female species to look for a mate that is capable of sustaining family and pass on good genes. By natural selection that keeps the best genepool and perpetuate it, defective genes are phased out. That's how nature ensures the continuation of a species and the decimating of another lesser species. In the animal kingdom, female specieses actively choose the best males to mate with and the males that didn't get chosen don't crib about the females not choosing them like you guys. They improve their desirable qualities - preen harder, build a prettier nest, fight other males better or practice their mating dance moves dedicatedly. Neither the males shame the females for active mate selection and rejection nor do they get insecure. Indian men, you have a lot to learn from the likes of peacocks, stags and bull moose. Plainly.

But, human society has evolved in a complex way - females work too, raising children and doing housework are work too. There is the concept of gender equality in human society. Except that it's awry in Indian society and women get all the blame because of a system patriarchy created.

There are many, many Indian parents who won't let their daughters to study higher or allow girls to earn money and marry them off at 18 - 23 and shouldn't look for a financially stable guy too? How do you expect a girl to have financial independence at 18 - 23? You have no qualms wanting young brides - fresh out of school/college and haven't got a chance to mingle with men, an experience that comes from going out to work, possibly didn't be in relationships and you get a 'fresh virgin' then you complain that they are putting too much importance on your financial stability. You should listen to your reasoning fellows - it's as ridic as a buffalo driving a Ferrari.

You won't support women to be financially independent and you won't be financially independent yourself and blame women for being 'greedy'.

It's totally fine if you want to not be financially stable, be a slob and be unmotivated to move your ass productively despite your parents giving you all the means to get educated and a job, probably  something they didn't give in an equal way to your sister, preferring to marry her off before she hits 25 to a financially stable guy, one you too didn't object. Just don't get married. You don't have a proper means to live and you won't let go of your useless male ego but you want to marry? Better not. Just let your emissions down the drain like Mother Nature intended, playing by natural selection.

You say things that are totally below the belt on girls doing well in their education, tell girls don't choose IT field, don't work night shifts and 1001 pure/benign sexism infused verbiages are put forth and then you vilify girls who look for financially stable guys which is very different from being rich and being a buffalo driving a Ferrari.

You won't enable women to be financially independent, have the mindset that women should always be dependent on men and then you will accost women who are the product of your insecurity and patriarchal thought for looking for a financially stable husband.

Any Indian men oppose this shit? But you complain that women are materialistic and money minded when looking for a guy to marry. 

This is why our society isn't progressing.

I am not denying that girls expect - it's the parents often times and I gave the reasons that make you fidget uncomfortably now. I hear you feebly say now that all girls are earning nowadays.

Please don't give me the bollocks that all women are earning - so many are stopped from earning after marriage because of the patriarchal perception that women's prime role is staying at home and taking care of the family's household needs and many are married off before they can earn - hence looking for a settled guy. If Indian girls are expecting green card holder, just marry a girl from the foreign country you hold green card at - you can even get citizenship. You can't right? If you forbid her from going to work and tell her to wait you and your parents hand and foot, she'll show you the middle finger and walk out. You want an Indian girl who is raised by the drilling in that marriage, slaving for husband and in-laws is life and adjust and compromise are the rule of the thumb. If she isn't earning, the more you can shackle her - there is little way out for her, especially in a foreign land. Green card ain't a bonus for her in reality - she's in an alien place without much means and isn't street smart. She's thousands of miles away from her family and friends and she has had very limited social exposure. She can be an unpaid maid and baby making machine that gets tortured for not producing sons and on top of that dowry. Marrying a guy with green card ain't all sunshine for an Indian girl - it's dark and dreary too. It's good for pride, not exactly for her life.

I have seen and heard the stories of girls married off just after school/college education and them suffering because their ambitions were crushed by the society's idea of ideal life for women - they are stuck in a suffocating bond that wrings their spirit off. If there are such girls, another set of girls grow up ingrained by the thought that they should depend on their husband for everything - some of them are my family. Such girls don't study well or bother to excel in exams because they think their husband should take care of them. They aren't ashamed to say why should they go to work and earn and that it's their husband who are responsible for their sustenance. Well, years later, their notion bit them in the ass due to their choice of husband and them not having any solid self support - their brother is the one who is supporting them now.

You know, Indian men, if you can't fulfill the expectations, don't get married - you are not fit enough to survive so accept that fact. If you want to change the status quo, then you have to contribute to it. You don't get to sit on your fat lazy bum and criticise women and hope the circumstance for women to transmogrify. I will propose some solutions here and Indian men, you gotta pull your weight and change your mindset:

1. When your parents won't educate your sister up to the point of going for job like they do you, protest and speak about why she getting educated and earning is important. You don't sit quietly and watch your sister get married off because afterwards, your parents' house gets bequeathed to only you - you don't need to share it with your sister.

2. Consign your ego and insecurity when girls do well in education and earn more than you do.

3. When you see men debate on whether women should be educated, call it out. When you see men who want to be homemakers, don't look at them with scorn or amusement. Respect.

4. Reject proposals of girls below 25 years of age. Find out if the bride that's being matchmade to you is working or not. Insist on marrying a girl who is working. And, don't stop your wife from earning. Instead encourage her to earn. If at all you get married to a girl that just completed her education, you take the role of her parents and make her study higher and enable her to earn.

Learn from the likes of Mahatma Jyotiba Phule and Surya Vamsam Sarathkumar guys. Don't complain and complain on how women are complete materialistic, money minded bitches. Learn what made them that way and provide redress - grousing, being hypocrites and blaming each other takes us nowhere. And, guess what, encouraging women to study and work help you guys too. Your burden gets halved as women pitch in to equally contribute to the household and pay off debts. Win win situation. Break the tradition that perpetuates caste system by bridling women and controlling their sexuality and do what suits us in this day and age.

Peace out.