Boys study and work hard to go to America. Girls just marry to go to America

I see that many Indian guys who are in their 20s and 30s getting pretty agitated because of their inability to meet the requirements set by Indian girls regarding criteria for marriage, material wealth and overseas settled wise. Today, I am just going to focus on the America mappilai (groom) thingy.

First things first. I’d like to correct you guys’ claim that it’s the girls that set the conditions. Nope. It’s the girls’ parents. The girls don’t even have any say as to what they get to do with their life. They are pushed into the marriage market by 25 because of the demand of the age range as most marriageable and of course, culture and society. By 25, the girls could’ve hardly built any financial standing for themselves. Can guys build a financial standing by 25? No? So how can girls?

These Indian guys speak about Indian girls/their parents setting conditions but they don’t speak about the conditions they set when looking for a bride. Besides fair skin and a slim body, they want the girl to be Indian/Tamil cultured, can make vatha kulambu, paniyaram and be within 25 years of age.

Well, since you guys love to say, “Girls just marry to go to America,” why don’t you just marry American girls? A blonde or a dread locks sporting American girl? Or even a 3^rd generation Hispanic American citizen girl? My favourites gotta be Sofia Vergara, Eva Longoria and oh my god, Alexandria Ocasia-Cortez! You can’t right? Because when you tell her to wait you and your parents hand and foot, won’t leave your parents’ underarms and make a private and independent life with her, ask for only sons, dictate how she should dress, whether she should work and if allowed, confiscate her salary because she now belongs to you and your family, restrict her from speaking to her parents, what more visit them, she’ll most probably show you and your parents the middle finger, walk out and send you divorce papers to sign. If it’s an Indian girl, raised with the indoctrination that marriage, slaving for husband and in-laws, giving birth to sons, adjusting, compromising and cutting attachment with her parents and family is her life’s destiny, it is an advantage for you. But you don’t say it. That’s why I said it. Also, caste purity sake. Your mentality is putrefying like this and you dare ridicule girls that all they need to do is marry and voila, live their American dream. Can go to Disneyland, Universal Studios, Las Vegas, Yelllowstone Park, etc FOC.

You want a girl within 25 years of age. Could you be an American green card holder/get PR status by 25, Indian guys? Ok, no need green card/PR status, can you get a solid financial standing by the time you’re 25? No? Then it sounds utterly ridiculous and critically hypocritical when you ask for girls within 25 of years age to marry and then say ‘girls just marry to go to the US, they don’t need to study or work hard for to go to the US. ‘

If an Indian girl dares to dream to go and work abroad and her parents happen to support her ambition, relatives and society are quick to say, “Just marry an America mappilai. Why do you want to work so hard to go abroad?” That aside, how many of you Indian men are willing to marry a fiercely independent, self assured, job driven Indian woman who works abroad and is above 25 years old? Not many.

Having an America mappilai is only good for the parents of the girl, in terms of showing off to society and relatives, “We married our girl off to an NRI/ American Green card holder.” More often than not, it is not good for the girl. If she isn't earning, the more you can shackle her - there is little way out for her, especially in a foreign land. America mappilai isn't a bonus for her in reality, especially when he’s typical - she's in an alien place without much means and isn't street smart. She's thousands of miles away from her family and friends and she has had very limited social exposure. She can be an unpaid maid and baby making machine that gets tortured for not producing sons and on top of that dowry – America mappilais demand more dowry. Potta kaase thiruppi edukanum wife oda parents te irundhu. Marrying an Indian guy in the US isn't all sunshine for an Indian girl - it's dark and dreary too. The status is only good for pride – in reality, it doesn’t help the girl much.

So, you are the ones who want Indian cultured girl within 25 years of age range. And your same mouths dare to say girls just marry to go to US when you demand it in the first place? And, what, the girl you married sits idle in your home? She slaves off there, cooking, cleaning, washing for you and your family – she gives birth to your children and takes care of them. If you look exclusively for a young Indian bride, under 25, you’re most probably typical Indian who thinks that housework is a woman’s job. That’s the American dream she gets. It’s not all princessy.

So, the next time you want to say shit like ‘middle class princesses who just marry to go abroad’, reflect on why such a phenomenon exists. And, trust me, married life abroad is much, much harder than working life abroad for an Indian girl.

This is dedicated to midget minds like these guys who neither work to come up in life but want to get married nor supportive of women climbing job ladders which actually help them if only they aren’t so insecure and egoistic. If you don’t want girls to demand so much material wise, you support them earning and don’t ask for a bride within 25 years of age. Insist on marrying only girls who are above 25 and have a financial standing. Encourage women working in any field, including IT without putting jaldra for Sivakumar telling about how IT field is ruining the karpu of our girls. Girls being financially independent will solve dowry problem too - they'll understand that they should pay for their life. How many Indians apply these measures? Very few. Social reformation is due. From our parents to you need to change and redefine how Indian women are expected to live life.

Don’t just ridicule girls and complain about girls. Both change nothing for you and for girls. I’ve suggested solutions. Consider making memes by those ideas. Things will turn for the better for all of us.