Economic Independence is Human Dignity

 

So, my IG DM was filled about this Instagram page called Patriarchal Phenomenon. The page is anti-feminism and advocates for women to be feminine, only marry older men, and women to only be housewives and mothers and totally dependent on their husbands.

Now, meet Therese Margareth Saranza (pic, above) She’s my colleague from The Philippines. She has a medical condition called Atlantoaxial Instability. Her condition used to give her excruciating headaches and she would often bang her head on the walls due to the pain. The condition progressed to quadriplegia. This means she can’t move anything from the neck down like the late Christopher Reeve. She can’t breathe on her own. She is bedridden and completely dependent on her caretakers.

Christopher Reeve

Therese is a graduate in BSc Psychology, cum laude at that. She’s been working for nearly a decade now from her bed, at her home. She uses voice recognition software to work and is a star employee. My boss, Thomas Ng often talks about Therese when he is interviewed by publications, media, and organizations that focus on CSR. Words cannot express how proud he is of Therese.

Now, don’t women like Therese deserve a life where they could, in the least, work and be economically independent? What do you do as a woman when life hits hard and dependency on men is not an option? What is not feminine about doing paid work, wearing pants and cropping hair for comfort and convenience? Why? Why must women limit their roles to being housewives and mothers? What about women who are physically unable to assume those “meant for women”, roles but able to work, earn, and sustain their families and themselves and contribute to the GDP? Remote work and digitalizing enable such things. We are in 2021, not 1921. I think the page and its followers will say that female PWDs don’t deserve to live

My boss hires women in oppressed environments and refugees – from Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Syria. Our star graphic designer is Fereshteh, a girl from Syria. Barely 20 years old, her graphic design skills are off the charts.

My dad was 50 when I was born. He retired when I was 7. My mom came to the city to work and raise me. If my mother followed the shit this page preaches and remained submissive to my dad, without taking authority over her life, she would be living in poverty now and I will be long dead as a result of my rare genetic disease.

An Indian guy told me that I shouldn’t work and find someone to depend on. I told him to fuck off. If I wait for some guy to depend on, how am I to sustain my mother and manage my rare illness? How can I follow a low copper diet and pay my bills? Lol, if my mom left my old dad and found some other man to depend on, is this society going to say she did the right thing?

If my mom didn’t come to work, I would not have gotten an education. My sister’s wedding would not have happened. My dad would not have been taken care of properly until he breathed his last. There won’t be a roof on top of my head. I was the one who took leave from school to take my dad to the hospital for appointments. I studied while waiting for my dad’s turn to see the doctor.

While my half-brother and relatives chipped in to take care of a gravely ill me, how long am I going to be dependent on my male family members? Already tensions were brewing. So, I moved out from my brother’s place and moved back to the house my mom bought. Now, my mom and I live alone. I work full time. I love my job and I rarely take a leave.

I may work “like a man” but my work doesn’t impinge my femininity. Femininity includes being fiercely protective and productive. I am both. I am not married due to my disease, but I don’t give a fuck. I’d rather be single and independent than grovel at a man for being gracious enough to marry me, giving me the gift called “life.” Heck, I gave myself a life.

So, don’t you dare tell women to depend on men and aspire to be good housewives and mothers. Women should depend on themselves. Don’t you dare say men are unemployed coz women are employed. Employment is for everyone, including the disabled, not cishet, able-bodied men’s monopoly.

Technology is not sexist and discriminative. Voice recognition software or a stylus doesn’t care who uses it – men, women, LGBTQAI, disabled, housewife, househusband, digital nomad, office slug, nocturnal, diurnal, insomniac, whomever. Sexism doesn’t exist in nature. Neither is patriarchy natural. If you have a scientific and empathetic mind and an understanding of inclusivity and diversity, you wouldn’t be spewing such shit with not an ounce of intersectionality on social media.