Marriage is a Choice, not Mandatory

 

Now some half-boiled lentils will come and say, "So married women with children cannot be free and independent?"

Sure they can and are - Kamala Harris, Jacinda Ardern, and Genelia are prime examples.

But you have to look at the type of husband/partners and in-laws these free, independent married women with children have.

Kamala Harris' husband has no problem with being Second Gentleman. Clarke Gayford is happy to take care of their child while Jacinda takes care of the nation. Riteish Deshmukh is proud that Genelia is more well-known down south than him. Also, there are couples who defy gender roles and live interdependently.

But these are few and far in between. Largely in our society, in-laws and husbands think a daughter-in-law is a slave that brings in riches. As of 2021, only 19.9% of the total labor force in India are women.

But, South Asian women are increasingly choosing not to marry and not to have children. Women are happier without children or a spouse, happiness experts say.

But our patriarchal society can't take it if women are happy and free. They don't get the idea that marriage is not to be done to please elders, to make way for younger siblings, to give grandchildren to parents, and to put wedding feast for that nosy materteral lady. Marriage is when you want it with another person and she/him wanting it too.

It is also true that the more independent a woman is, the more likely she is to view marriage and children as disposable options, not mandatory.

This is what South Asian society is petrified of. I have heard cab drivers, and random Malaysian Indian men say that women should not be so highly educated and earn so much. If so, they'll reject marriage or marry an Apek (Chinese guy) or foreign guy. Even if they marry a macha, they won't listen to him and only do things as they wish. Not very different from Indians.

This is what Periyar predicted, going "Fuck marriage ladies. Be free and independent."

For me, marriage is not the problem. It's the tradition, the type of people this sexist #mairuculture has raised, and imposition, blackmail and compulsion to marry is the problem.

#rosa #marriage #tradition #childfree #choices