I LOVE YOU is not equal to I WILL DEFINITELY MARRY YOU

I LOVE YOU – A powerful phrase and is usually mentioned when one loves another with deep feelings. However, this phrase is always taken by machas as a ‘vedha vaaku’ and they think that meenachis will be together with them even if they behave like assholes. Now, when a meenachi tells you that she loves you – it is just what it means – she has feelings for you. But, please keep in mind that I LOVE YOU does not mean she will be with your forever, nor it is a promise to marry you or share her life with you.

When two individuals express this phrase, it allows them to interact closely and get to know each other. It gives them the privileges to go on dates and understand each other better. In the course of getting to know each other, one may discover that one have less similarities with the individual that she has fallen in love with. She may discover that her interests, her ambitions and her life perspectives are different from the guy that she has fallen for. Now, here is where the problem occurs. Should she keep on staying in the relationship with that particular guy simply because she has said – I LOVE YOU? Or should she walk away?

You are dating a guy who disapproves your hobbies (reading, running, hiking, zumba dancing etc) because he feels that you are dedicating less time to him. He doesn’t see your hobbies are interesting. In fact he condemns you for even indulging in them. You love your hobbies and you are not ready to dump them for this guy even of you love him so much. Plus, he is not even making any effort to join in or try to do the hobbies so that he can spend more time with you. He simply wants you to forgo your hobbies for him. Each time, you go for hiking trip or travelling trips with your best friends, you had to either hide it from him or you have to face his nasty, scathing remarks. So, what do you do?

You want to further your studies as it helps your career advancement but he disapproves. He feels that you having a job is good enough and why bother studying more? Plus, you furthering your studies will interfere with his plans to get married to you 6 months down the road. You are still establishing your career path while he wants to just settle down. Some might say you can always continue your studies after marriage but we all know it’s not that easy especially if you are planning to do your MSc or PhD in Science with full research mode. The stress and pressure that comes with it is really huge. And the last thing you want is to be bogged down with is preparing lunch and dinner for your husband, doing all the chores and getting pregnant and morning sickness when you are supposed to be writing your thesis.

Your opinions differ with him all the time. He has a fixed idea on how a meenachi should behave, how she should talk and act. He expects you to fit into the mould of a perfect Indian wife that he has created in his mind. You have problem with his thoughts simply because you are not the typical meenachi that appears in serial dramas. You are dominant, strong willed, smart and have independent opinions on a number of subjects. He hates your opinions and tells you to shut it. He tries to suppress you from appearing smarter than him in front of his friends and colleagues. Do you still continue your relationship with such person?

He checks your whereabouts continuously and his favourite phrase is – where are you right now? Followed by whom are you with? You find it difficult to talk or mingle with your guy friends freely. You feel trapped and scrutinized. He also insists on checking your FB accounts and your conversations on social media. He gets all upset and suspicious if you even smile at any guy. So, do you continue loving this person?

You see, being a couple and dating each other after that ‘I LOVE YOU’ phrase does not guarantee that you will marry that person. Throughout a time period of 2-3 years, you will discover each other’s personality and find out that the initial attraction is not enough. You will find many things that you hate about your partner compared to what you like. The Indian society may say 6 months is enough to get to know and marry a person. That’s not true considering that there are many parameters involved in accepting a person for life. So, I LOVE YOU is not equal to I will definitely marry you. This applies to both guys and girls. And stupid machas who think I LOVE YOU = I will marry you – well, you being asshole does not guarantee that a meenachi will marry you after saying I LOVE YOU. And, the otherwise applies as well.