Indian girl divorces and her unmarried sisters pay the price - what the fuck Indian society

I have a friend who’s sister is applying for divorce from her two timing husband who had been fucking around with another woman, getting her pregnant as well. It was love marriage, one that had been opposed by my friend’s parents due to the karat traits of the macha. 3 years down the road and he cheated the girl who defied her parents to marry him. Feeling utterly bitter, she filed for divorce and came back to her parents’ house. Her parents are decent people who don’t even wish harm on an ant. Yet, just because one of their daughter is divorced the parents are now worried about the marriage prospects of their other 2 unmarried daughters.

Stupid quotes like, “those days, parents looked for good boys for their daughters but nowadays parents are looking for good girls for their sons,” just exacerbate things and give a very bad impression on women, like they are the cause of debauchery and sin. We fail to see women as people who sin just like men and that solely picking on women is ill advised.

Now for the society - if you have no problem marrying off your daughter to a guy who has a male divorced sibling, the same should be applied in marrying off your son to a girl who has a female divorcee sibling. Because, everyone has a story and no one should be judged by the choices they make in life or in the case of divorce, a choice that one is forced to make. Divorce process is never easy for all the parties involved so save your judgments.

How to live with a cheating husband really? While the Indian society is quick to mudsling an Indian woman for cheating without even an iota of solid proof but merely a testimony from a macha, like in the PD slash case, Indian women don’t get the same sympathy.

The general Indian perception is that there is something not right about an Indian female divorcee – that she doesn’t know how to anusarichi porethe, adanggi porethe, porumaiya porethe (adjust, be submissive and forbearing). And then the blame falls on her parents, particularly mother and because this girl is such a bajari (she-devil) her sisters must have the same traits. Above all, they are brought up by the same set of parents. Her upbringing is condemned at every turn.

But, how about the girl’s ex husband? No one bothers to find out what prompted the girl to walk out of her marriage. No one bothers about the husband’s upbringing. Why, is it only ladies are scrutinised as such? Isn’t the world made up by men and women? Doesn’t the world contain good and bad?

Indian society, I have a plea for you. Please don’t pin all culpability on women, their upbringing and their family. Everyone has a background so before you can so easily dismiss girls who have a divorced sister as not good, marriageable girls, do some investigations on what actually happened. Also, divorced ladies are not a reflection of their family – it’s their personal thing. Having a divorced sister doesn’t lessen the marriage worth of a girl. Lives are complicated. Bad things happen to good people. It’s time to judge a person justly as an individual adult who is accountable for his or her action and not bring his/her amma, appa, aatukutty into the equation.