Indian parents and gangsterism

I watched Santhippom Sinthippom on Astro Vaanavil on the topic of violence and Indians. Combined with the the topic of gangsterism and parents’ role in stemming it, this is an untold story that needs to be told.

As seen in the movie Jagat, estate displacement is what led Indians to violence and decadence. At the same in estates, there was a system that actually prevented kids from growing up to become unsavoury characters.

In estates, besides the parents, there were supervising eyes everywhere which are on constant lookout should children and teens do shady stuff like skipping school, gallivanting and other prankish, clandestine activities. These eyes have mouths which will pottu kudekeran (launch report) all the misdeeds done by the kids to their parents. Their parents in turn would pottu saathuran (flog) their kids using a myriad of tools and methods.

This system kept kids in line - they knew if they mess up, they’re in for a fix. Hence, the kids were shielded from sordid activities. Once they were drawn out of estates, this system disintegrated and Indians got involved in hoodlum activities. Yes, our racist govt, racist private sector and Tamil movies are to blame for this plight but so are parents. A retired policeman who spoke in Santhipom Sinthipom as a special guest insisted on the latter.

I indeed agree with the police officer. Parents need to lead by example and navigate their kids - especially males to the good route. Just look at our youngish machas - from their hairstyle to their dressing style. It makes any Indian aunty clutch her thali kodi extra tightly, any Malay lady slink away and any Chinese amoi run away. I really don’t understand how these machas can even seriously think that landak hairstyle, cow dung coloured hair dye, their non compliant dressing sense and behaviour are something that make them desirable

And, I wonder how the parents of these machas allow them to be like that? If I was a parent, there is no way I am going to let my son do all that shit to himself. It’s mainly because many Indian parents fail to lead by example and be non compliant to the law themselves. Also, Indian parents often say one thing and do the opposite thing.

Many Indian parents allow their kids flout the law earlier on. In post estate days, I lived in an Indian fringe ghetto and saw my neighbours allowing their kids who haven’t reached the age of taking motorbike riding license ride bikes, that too without helmet. If Indian parents themselves don’t show respect to laws, so how to expect their kids to respect the laws? Ithuleh perume vere - en makanukku 13 vayasu than aavuthu, aana bike, car otta teriyum. (This has become a pride - my son is only 13 but he knows how to ride a bike and drive a car) These kids grow up and think they can flout laws as they see fit because of bad parenting. Do not let your kids ride/drive before they acquire licenses. It is not alright to let your teen son drive/ride before he reaches the age of consent - circa 17 - 18.
Indian fathers smoke and drink and tells their sons to go buy liquor and fags, despite them being below 18 and tells the male kids not to smoke or drink. Action speaks louder than words and in this case, action needs to correlate with words. If you don’t want your son/daughter to smoke and drink, you don’t smoke/drink. Kids are like monkeys - what monkey sees, monkey does. Monkey lets words into left ear and outta the right ear. Roger that.

Also, the major reason why gangsterism is so ripe in our community is the mentality of ‘as long as the money comes in, anything goes’. The family and relatives know that their macha family member is in a gang and that the money he brings is illegal. But what do the elders in the family, ie, the parents do? The mother would go, “Panathe nalla edama paathu olichi veyyi, police kandupudikame irukke.” (Keep the money in a safe place so that police can’t find.) Later when the macha is shot dead for criminal activities by PDRM, the mother goes, “En paiyan nalla paiyan. Avanode kootali than avane keduthutan.” (My son is a good boy. His friends are the ones who spoiled him) See how she can’t see how she encouraged her son doing unlawful business and now blames his friends. The money blinds these people to law and order. There are so many Indian single mothers out there due to them marrying gang members and the latter being gunned down or imprisoned due to crime time.

Ultimately, only parents can make a difference in curbing gangsterism in our community. Don’t allow kids to flout laws no matter how minor - don’t even speed up in 60 kmph areas. Don’t be a bad example. Remember, your kids are watching your every move. Set a good example and restrict your children when it’s needed. The upcoming article will be on how to raise your kids to be good people.