What’s the worth of an Indian woman?

What’s the worth of an Indian woman?

Again, I stopped to watch a mega serial scene as I passed by the TV the other day and got mindfucked. A woman was shamed and criticized for not being able to get pregnant. Another lady rebukes her somewhere along these lines, “Oru pulleye petthu kudukke thuppu ille, neeyellam oru pombele.” (You can’t give birth to a child and you call yourself a woman?) 

I was left reeling. The worth of a woman lies in her being able to give birth? Why the fuck Indian society is bent on how a woman should be and crassly brand her unwomanly due to a reproductive defect? It is equally wrong to say a man isn’t manly if he is unable to sire.

Also, a woman’s worth is only at its peak when she is married as far as the Hindu Indian society is concerned. If a meenachi is over 30 years old and unmarried, she is cornered and subtly chided simply because she isn’t married, never mind if she has PHD or is in a high position in a corporate field. Her worth is lower than a meenachi who has SPM qualification but married and having kids. You see, no one asks a meenachi what she is going to study further and plans for her career - all that are asked are ‘yeppo kalyanam pannike poreh’ (when are you going to get married?). If married and childless, its ‘yeppo kulanthai petheke poreh?’ (When are you going to have children?). Look, marriage and having children may seem your ideal life or ideal 30 years ago but it’s not for everyone and it isn’t anymore either.

And now, let’s go to divorced Indian women - they are quickly labeled ‘vaala vetti’ (a person who is not living) Now, this is the killing of a person when she is alive. A divorced meenachi is just divorced, not dead while being alive. She made a choice or forced to make a choice and it is unfair to say her whole life has lost its meaning just because her marriage wasn’t successful. I have 2 divorced cousin sisters - 1 remarried and another one is pursuing PhD. Divorce is not the end of the life of a woman - it’s a new beginning.

Now, let’s come to widows - there is no more cruelty than how widows are treated in Hinduism. In the name of culture, just because a woman’s husband is dead, she is reduced to sub human treatment. Of course sati and wearing white have been scrapped but widows are still considered inauspicious and sidelined in auspicious events. What’s worst, it is women who perpetuate this to fellow women. Widows are not fully liberated yet and if you want to see the worst side of this human rights violation, Google Widows of Vrindavan.

So, as you can see, a woman’s worth is weighed by the presence of a husband and children in her life. If she is detached from married marital status and motherhood somehow she is paathi manishi (half a human) Indian society needs to learn that a woman has her worth weight in gold as an individual and doesn’t deserve discrimination over things she can’t control like death of her husband. Indian women have been hurting long enough. It’s about time we stop hurting them for the same things men don’t have to face like being unmarried, a divorcee or a widower.