INDIANS AND THEIR VETTI BANTHA

Indians thrive on 'vetti' (useless) bantha or 'gowravam' and being an Indian, I never understood the pride in boasting about something that you didn't even work for.

Many years ago, an Indian uncle came over to my grandmother's house to repair her sewing machine. I was watching him doing the job when he suddenly started talking about his son in law, who happens to be a secretary for Ananda Krishnan. Ananda Krishnan is one of the millionaires in Malaysia and this uncle was proudly talking about his daughter getting married to AK's secretary. I never understood what is there to be proud of - I mean after all your son in law is just a secretary. Is there a difference between being a secretary to AK or any other random companies out there? The millionaire here is AK not the son in law but this uncle felt he has a right to boast about his son in law who works as a secretary to a millionaire. God - even AK's biological son doesn't go around, claiming pride in being a son of millionaire. But the father in law of a guy who happens to work as a secretary does - makes you wonder how shameless he can be right? 

This is AK the millionaire in case you are wondering how he looks. The Indian uncle who boasted - well, he looks like any other typical Indian uncle. 

At a family gathering, my mother met her neighbors and long distant relatives whom were quite close to my grandmother during their days at the estate. This uncle just walked to my mum and asked her how many kids she has. She said - three daughters to which this uncle puffed his chest and claimed he has princes. My mum was deeply hurt with the remark because she was at that time under a lot of pressure with people pointing out that she has only daughters and no sons. Today, after more than 20 years, she met the same uncle again at yet another wedding. Unfortunately, the uncle's so called prince sons have left him for good. My mum had the last laugh since her daughters are all with her. But then again, revenge aside - I wonder what's with the vetti bantha on the gender of the kids that you bear? Just because you have sons - it doesn't guarantee you a good future and just because you have daughters - it doesn't guarantee you a life of misery. Indians - I am telling you ......

'Vetti bantha' seems to govern our Indians where random Indian uncles and aunties think it is okay to talk about their sons and daughters to random strangers. Of course, you have to bear in mind that they could be lying through their teeth on their children's achievements since you are not going to counter check anyway. One random aunty who wears a red pothu the size of old 50 cents coin told me her daughter is working at Putrajaya after I told her I am studying for PhD. She then continued to inform without being asked that her son is an engineer and her other daughter may become a doctor. I let her ramble away to her heart's content and walked away when the bus arrived. Seriously, why would you even disclose such information to a random stranger? But Indians do that you know.....

 Next, I was introduced to a number of new relatives at a cousin's wedding and one uncle came to me to say this - 'This is my daughter in law - a dentist'. I was like - huh? Aren't you suppose to introduce me to your son and daughter instead of daughter in law? But I knew the son and daughter (both whom are my cousins) did not have good academic achievements. So, I suppose getting a dentist as daughter in law compensates the lack of academic achievement by the son.....sigh. Why do you Indians do this? Riding on other people's achievements? Boasting and parading around your daughter in law as if acquiring her adds value to your under-achieved son? 

Recently, I had the opportunity to watch Aranthangi Nisha's speech when she participated in a 'pattimandram' organized in Malaysia. She said 'karuppu' is the true color of Indians - fine. 

Then, everything when downhill from there. She made fun of how her color made her invisible to others and how lucky she was to get a fair husband. Then, she also said that men with dark skinned wives are the luckiest because no one else will try to seduce or look at her. Personally, I would say - if you think Karupu is the true color of Indians, then why do you have problem with dark Indian girls? I never understood the vetti bantha of glorifying dark skin among Indian guys but you can't except dark Indian girls? You make them the butt of joke and you compliment people like Nisha for taking such shitty jokes in a positive light.

First of all, why would you Indian guys glorify something that you were born with and condemn the same trait in women? Are you guys stupid? again the vetti bantha of karupu is neruppu when you are just an unemployed guy who still begs pocket money from his parents is so glaringly ridiculous. Those whom claim 'karupu' is ulaipali neram - well, that pride only goes to ulaipali not unemployed guys like you.

Did I leave any other examples of 'vetti bantha' out? Yup, boasting about how your son or daughter is married to a Gounder family or other ethnicity or race. Taking pride through marriage alliances just goes to show how desperate you are to gain approval from the society. But then again, your 'vetti bantha' does not amount to anything and will not help you in anyway.

Having said that, I do believe that 'vetti bantha' is deeply ingrained among the Indian society that they continuously see the need to seek for approval based on others' academic achievements, status, jobs and marriage alliances. We won't go far with such attitude, trust me ......please do drop the vetti bantha. It is both laughable and ridiculous.

#RavishingRaven
#KKannammaa