INDIANS & GETTING MARRIED - WHY DO YOU FORCE FOR MARRIAGE TO HAPPEN?

I must say - everything can change as time goes EXCEPT the Indians and their twisted mentality of marriage. A few days ago, I came across a post on FB which says: 

Of course there are other posts which pointed out how Meghan was very different, yet she was accepted by the royals into their family. Now, a friend remarked - you know, we Indians need to change as well when it comes to getting married. Choosing a partner and deciding what exactly we want in a life partner instead of allowing our parents to arrange marriages for us. I agree - because no one knows the best except for the person itself on what kind of life partner will be suitable for them (I can imagine many Indian parents scowling their faces at this remark- but hey, you should change as time goes and learn to trust decisions made by your children).

I attended my cousin's wedding last week and guess what everyone told me:

a) So, you are next, no more excuses

b) You look happy - you must have someone

c) Don't waste your life - get married soon.

Not exactly what I wanted to hear after such a long time attending a family gathering but Indians and their shitty mouth even if they are your relatives - sigh!So, let's look at the remarks one by one:

a) So, you are next, no more excuses 

Like are we lining up for food at the temple here for us to dictate who goes next and after that? Would you elders like it very much if I attended a death and turn to you to say 'you are next, no excuses'. Will you be happy? Then, why you Indians say such insulting things to other people? Like do you even use your brains to think before you open your mouth to talk. Yeah, yeah you wanted the best for us young people yaada, yaada but know where to draw the line when it comes to trespassing into other people's personal life. Getting married and having kids is not  a competition. It is optional so stop drawing datelines and forcing us, working youngsters to get married. 

b) You look happy - you must have someone

This came from a cousin who can't believe that I am so happy despite still being single into my 30s. He said - you are always smiling, you must have someone. People, please bear in mind that a woman does not need a man to make her happy. She has many,many reasons to be happy with her life, her career and her achievements which has nothing to do with having a guy in her life. Pretty sure most of my relatives whom attended the wedding had the same suspicions as well. If you think a girl is happy ONLY when she has a guy in her life - you are so wrong especially in today's era where Indian women are so successful. 

c) Don't waste your life - get married soon.

This remark came from my mother's brother, my uncle who quickly introduced me to his married daughter. He said - don't waste your life. Of course I didn't have time to sit him down and give him a good rebuttal for the remark that he made. However, that reminded me that most Indians do think until today that a single woman is a wasted woman. No matter how successful and highly educated she is - her life is wasted if she doesn't get married to an Indian guy and have kids. Wow - what an idiot! If I were to compare, I have accomplished way more things than his married daughter. 

So, back to Meghan and Prince Harry. My aunt was busy asking my younger sister if she wants to be introduced to a guy who is looking for a bride. My sister quickly asked my aunt to introduce him to me. My aunt replied - well, he is younger, so more suitable for you. I told my aunt - if the royal family has no problem with Meghan who is 3 years older marrying Prince Harry, why do you have problem introducing me to a younger guy? After all, you wanted me to get married right?

She quickly started giving dumb excuses and walked away. What a hypocrite.....wants you to get married but filters and decides exactly whom you should marry and not. The same goes to many Indian aunties and uncles who do the matching making services. They don't introduce girls to any guys outside the pre-determined age limits but this doesn't apply to guys. A 50 year old Indian guy can get married to a 20 year old girl but a girl can never marry a guy who is younger than her. 

If she does, then she is a desperate lady who preys on young men - a cougar though the term does not sound so sexy or nice in Tamil.

And if the younger guy cheats on her later on, she deserves it since she shouldn't have married him in the first place. See how the Indian society makes sure that the guys always get away with no matter what they do while girls shoulder the blame for everything?

I came back from the wedding, feeling very angry for having relatives whom are idiots. My sister has divorced her husband due to him being a two -faced cheating bastard. None of my relatives talked about how Indian guys are so downright irresponsible and how marriage is no longer the solution for girls. Everyone still holds on to marriage as the most important event in a woman's life despite my sister divorcing her husband. 

At this point, I have decided that if I am going to get married, it is on my own terms when I feel like getting married. Not because everyone around me thinks I should get married. 

When and how we can change the Indian mentality of marriage? Another 1000 years? I doubt it will even change with the rate it is currently.

If the royal family happens to be Indians, do you think Meghan could have married into the family with her status as a celebrity? Sigh .....

#RavishingRaven

#KKannammaa