Bride leaving parents or groom leaving parents - it's the same thing

When my sister was left with her husband and in-laws 2 days after her wedding, I didn't join the boo-hoo session that my mother and aunts indulged in. My sister isn't being left in Mars - we live in the same city and she is going to see me and vice versa. I reckoned it that way.

And, I was eyed as an unmoving, unloving and uncaring creature. Even my brother-in-law's younger brother asked me why I didn't cry. Eh, my father also didn't cry. Why U no ask him? Of course, I kept the question to myself because crying is something only female humans do. Right? WRONG.

Even if my sister's is being left in Mars, I can still communicate with her. Go watch Armageddon. Bruce Willis does a Skype like thingy with Liv Tyler from a freaking asteroid. I was there every time my sister gave birth. I speak to her at least once a week. I call her. I visit her and vice versa (except for giving birth - I never gave birth yet)

Okay, we Indians, we value our sentiments. But the scenario of a married man leaving his parents and home to live independently with his wife and kids is seen as something abominable, not as a poignant moment. The wife is called a family breaker.

Eh, listen. No one is breaking any family here. It's about building independence. Stuff I said about my sister applies to my imaginary brother too. If he's married and leaves me and my mother to live independently, I won't cry and call his wife a family breaker. I'll happily bid farewell and know that it's not forever. It's like him going to work in another state/country. He's still my brother. He'll still visit me, talk to me and be there for me when I need him. But, it's important that he builds a life and a home independent from his birth home = porandha veedu.

My sister lives with her in-laws though. I know for a fact that when the matriarch of her home expires and the situation forces my sister, her husband and their 3 sons to live independently, it's going to be very hard for my sister. It's because her husband doesn't do squat shit worth of housework. His mother raised sons like that - typical Indian. My sister works shifts. The upside is, she trains her sons in housework. It doesn't sit very well with her MIL but my sister is intent on not making the mistake her MIL made and make her future DILs suffer.

And, yes, my sister's gonna kick her sons out once they get hitched. Grow some gumption and learn to leave your mommas Indian men. Indian women can leave their parents and live with you after getting married with you, immaterial with your parents or independently and not complain (except for cheesy memes pinpointing the throes of vidaai) and you want to always be under your parents' armpit?

Cheh. And, Indian mothers with sons. Train your sons in housework. If your MIL was an asshole, you don't be one at your DIL. Save up so that you can take care of yourself in old age.

At least when we become parents and mothers, we do this. Independence is very important - not burdening others is the new family vogue.