Indian youngsters should not take care of their aged parents - instead, encourage and help them to be independent

One of the reasons I like Tun Dr Mahathir is his vigour despite him being a nanogerian. Not only him, his wife Tun Dr Siti Hasmah, who is only a year younger than him is a vibrant lady too.

But, we Indians have this tendency to modakki poduran our parents in the excuse of, "Vayasu aiduchu."

First of all, the fundamentals of our cultural family system is wrong. Ask any Indian why they should marry and beget children and the standard reply is, "To take care of me when I get old." Also, whenever any Indian says that marriage and children are not their cup of tea, they get told, "Who will take care of you when you're old?"

<ROLLS EYES> You having children is for them to contribute to society, to make the world a better place and add quality to the environment. Children are not your retirement plan.

Also, the savings of parents are not for them to give their daughter dowry and have a grand wedding for their children. The funds are supposed to be used by parents to support themselves in their gloaming days - pullingge ta kai enthi nikka vena. Educate daughters and sons equally and support earning of daughters - don't marry them off right after college. Know that financial independence is a helping hand for your daughter than marriage. Fuck society. Society made from completely unhelpful and only judging strangers doesn't deserve gratification. Your daughter does.

First, we need to change this cultural family system - it's not giving the best quality of life for anyone.

Second, we should encourage our parents to always be active both physically and mentally and I don't mean taking care of your children. Your children is your responsibility, not your parents'.

Living under one roof with your parents after marriage and kids is not only a bad idea but it also hampers independence on the side of the parents and their sons. I want to ask you ah, you say sons going separate living with his wife is cruelty because he can't take care of his parents. Ok, but what about the wife's parents? She's not living with them both ways - either when she's living with her in-laws or separately. Oru ponnu oda parents theruvukku vandha paravala aana oru paiyan oda parents vittu avan thani kuduthanam poita, "Avan amma appa va anathaiya vittu poitan. Avanoda pondati kudumbatha pirichuta." Just take a moment to let the hypocrisy sink in.

This is why parents shouldn't depend on their adult children. They should have a financial standing for themselves. Adult children should only support and enhance their parents' independence - like teaching them how to use tech like smartphones, Uber, online shopping, etc. Teach parents, especially widowed mothers, driving, get them a car, driving license so that they can go out and get whatever they need for themselves by themselves. Or train them to use public transport, provided it's reliable. You too don't need to take leave to take them to hospital appointments - they can drive themselves.

You know, when we keep our aged parents with us, we actually kill them earlier. We forbid them from going out and doing things citing vayasu aiduchu. That kills them. They don't walk. They don't use their brains. They don't read, write or do mental exercises - they ask anything, we tell them ungalku sonna puriyadhu pesama oru moolai la kidanga. Aana peethikerthu velila, I am taking care of my parents nu. You are not. You are disabling them by denying them things that they can and want to do.

Now imagine Tun Dr Mahathir's grown up children telling him, "Ungalku vayasu aiduchu. Yedhukku idhellam panreenga? Veetla summa kidanga."

This is not to say to push your parents beyond their capacity. Even Tun Dr Mahathir had 2 bypass surgeries. They should listen to their bodies and do things within their physical and mental limits. But the point is, they should stay active and interested in living life. Age is truly just a number. Ala, refer to Kaththi movie - I like Vijay's speech on old age. There, Tamil movies give good messages too but we often overlook such messages.

Change. Our parents deserve better - they deserve the world.