My Goliath and David battle with Fair & Lovely

Well, I am fair skinned.  But that didn’t stop me from slathering the ultimate fairness cream that promises flawless fair skin in two weeks – Fair and Lovely. It’s because for a significant chunk of Indians, no shade of fair is fair enough. They want to be whiter than white and perhaps get transparent skin in the process. And Fair and Lovely is the panacea. As a child and a teen, I too bought the propaganda.

 My mother bought me a tube of Fair & Lovely when I was eleven. I had just hit puberty and my mother was concerned that I would get dark (hence lose my beauty) because she couldn’t hide me from the equator sun giving all it has got by the action of converting hydrogen to helium.  I had to go to school hence not sheltered from the natural enemy of fair skin salivating Indians, the earth’s star.

My childlike curiosity wondered if I only put Fair and Lovely on my face, the rest of my body will be a tad darker than my face wouldn’t it. But questions are not something Indian adults are fond of and I kept the question to myself. I let myself be soaked in deep ignorance that although I don’t see any results as promised in two weeks, I convinced myself that I just need to keep using it because, one day, I would magically transform into Amy Jackson.

I fretted and fussed inwardly when I tanned as a result of biking to and fro school. I browned nicely like a steak seared and I didn’t like it in the slightest. Luckily, the thought that my studies are top priority and not being the female version of Narcissus kept me lucid. But, I remember cribbing to my classmates one day, showing them the colour contrast between my thighs covered by my tights and school uniform skirt and exposed calves – they were a bit sympathetic.

I dreaded going to Thaipusam celebration during the day because I got tan lines. Everyone would notice and remark on it. I was ambivalent between wanting to go to the temple under the blazing sun to pray to Lord Muruga and eat temple food or stay at home and wait for the divine tasting temple food brought to my plate.  At that time, my brain didn’t realise that Fair and Lovely is not working despite protracted use.

I saw how Fair and Lovely evolved. I saw Fairever and other brands of fairness creams from India rise. I also saw western brands like Olay, Garnier and Loreal descend into the Asian demand for fair skin. And yes, I tried them all – broke into rashes as an allergic reactions in the process. But I was never discouraged from my quest to get as white as possible.

The realisation that my skin colour isn’t something I need to further make pale dawned on me when  a guy and his family who came to see my sister for a marriage proposal asked whether he could marry me because he liked me better – which directly translates as me being fairer than my sister. I realised that the preference of  my skin colour, which I didn’t put any effort to acquire, save the non effective tubes of Fair & Lovely religiously smeared on the face evenly is something that insults my human abilities. By any definition, I am not better than my sister – comparing me and her itself is unwarranted as we are two unique beings and my uniqueness isn’t better than my sister’s by any standards.

And, then I saw people only taking my skin colour seriously and not me – it was flattering when I was a student. As I got older and more aware of my capabilities, it got repulsive.  A guy told me that whatever I had achieved so far was only because I am beautiful = fair skinned and not because I am dexterous or sagacious. Just to sum it up, my skin colour is said to have made my life easier – I won’t have a hard time finding guys to take interest in me and I won’t have to struggle so much to get what I want in life. That’s like sanctioning the theme of Fair and Lovely ads. And I grew to absolutely abhor such a perception about me. I became hard pressed and critical as well as rebellious especially to the people who shoved such dismissal of my brain capacity versus my skin colour. Many took it as temerity since I am ‘beautiful’ but it is the other way around. I rather be known and appreciated for my aptitudes than my skin colour.

Dropping the usage of Fair and Lovely and other fair skin giving products like a ton of elephant dung is one of the best decisions I ever took. Not only I preserved my dignity and honoured my abilities by not allowing myself to be a commodity, my skin never looked and felt better due to proper moisturising and exfoliation.  

I have only one thing to say to Fair and Lovely that had been such a big part in my quest of attaining perfection of beauty – bye Felicia.