The Dignity of Women Doesn’t Lie in How Much Their Bodies are Covered
I watch The Try Guys a lot – and the guys
do a lot of nudity. Their co-workers see them nude especially the episode of
them doing the ancient Olympics. Yeah, yeah, it’s all western and in our home
ground, we have the movies Indian (came out in 1996) and Enthiran (came out in
2010) that simply gave the message, “Women, if anyone sees you nude, you gotta
end your life.” Same shit. Different decade.
I will recount a story that happened to me when I was a teen.
My Chinese landlord’s son was a Peeping Tom.
I caught him red handed one day when I was 15 - he was a year older than me.
When I opened the bathroom door after relieving myself, I saw him scuttling away like a maimed cockroach. I
felt a sharp twinge of mortification which gave way to full blown anger. Fuming,
I played the song “Uninvited” by Alanis Morisette loudly and scribbled a note I wanted to give him - in it, I wrote how despicable and desperate he is. While I was writing, I did feel a feeling of what we Tamils describe as 'udambu kusuran'. . I don’t know how many times he had peeped on me bathing and doing ablutions. I was naked. It did disturb me.
I finished writing the note and crumpled it into a ball. I then called the bugger out, threw the note at his face, told him to read it and stormed off. I didn't tell anyone of the boy's lecherous ways, not my mom, not my sister. I keep a lot of things to myself.
The next day, upon returning home from school, I found a piece of paper inserted in the slit of the front door. It was a note from the Peeping Tom. He apologised and appreciated the fact that I didn't tell his parents about what he did. That was that.
I lived for 2 more years in that rented space. Almost everyday, I ran into that boy. I had an important public exam coming up and I had to study a lot. And I did. And I aced the exam. I had another public exam the year after and I went to tuition. The boy went to the same tuition. I bumped into him countless times at that tuition center.
I don't know whether I have a thick skin or simply impervious, I didn't feel any shame to be before the eyes of the boy who most probably saw me nude numerous times. Whatever embarrassment I felt was fleeting. Remember, I had to face him almost everyday. This isn't cyber world. It was a real world, in person, in skin, in flesh. And, he wasn't my boyfriend. Neither did I show my body to him with consent.
At that time, I didn't know what is feminism. I never did really watch much Tamil movies and that probably saved me. All I knew was that I need to study hard and get good exam results so that I could go to university and get a good job. I was ambitious even as a teen. That was all that mattered. What I wanted to achieve in life was all that mattered to me. I gave little damn to everything else.
That type of confidence and ambitious trait is what girls and women need. That's where our dignity lay, not in our bodies. With that type of attitude, no one can shame us for showing skin, voluntarily or involuntarily, with or without consent. Those with eagerness to see our bodies and do so by hook or crook and then shame us as sluts are the ones who should be ashamed. They're the sluts, not us by any definition. Man sluts if I may add.
Not all men though. Just the boy who peeped on me when I was taking a shower naked.
I finished writing the note and crumpled it into a ball. I then called the bugger out, threw the note at his face, told him to read it and stormed off. I didn't tell anyone of the boy's lecherous ways, not my mom, not my sister. I keep a lot of things to myself.
The next day, upon returning home from school, I found a piece of paper inserted in the slit of the front door. It was a note from the Peeping Tom. He apologised and appreciated the fact that I didn't tell his parents about what he did. That was that.
I lived for 2 more years in that rented space. Almost everyday, I ran into that boy. I had an important public exam coming up and I had to study a lot. And I did. And I aced the exam. I had another public exam the year after and I went to tuition. The boy went to the same tuition. I bumped into him countless times at that tuition center.
I don't know whether I have a thick skin or simply impervious, I didn't feel any shame to be before the eyes of the boy who most probably saw me nude numerous times. Whatever embarrassment I felt was fleeting. Remember, I had to face him almost everyday. This isn't cyber world. It was a real world, in person, in skin, in flesh. And, he wasn't my boyfriend. Neither did I show my body to him with consent.
At that time, I didn't know what is feminism. I never did really watch much Tamil movies and that probably saved me. All I knew was that I need to study hard and get good exam results so that I could go to university and get a good job. I was ambitious even as a teen. That was all that mattered. What I wanted to achieve in life was all that mattered to me. I gave little damn to everything else.
That type of confidence and ambitious trait is what girls and women need. That's where our dignity lay, not in our bodies. With that type of attitude, no one can shame us for showing skin, voluntarily or involuntarily, with or without consent. Those with eagerness to see our bodies and do so by hook or crook and then shame us as sluts are the ones who should be ashamed. They're the sluts, not us by any definition. Man sluts if I may add.
Not all men though. Just the boy who peeped on me when I was taking a shower naked.
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