#StrongWomenDontNeedMeToo - get over your delusion already

#StrongWomenDontNeedMeToo is problematic and utopian. I will tell 2 of my own experiences of sexual harassment, how I reacted to both and the consequences I faced to knock sense into these ‘strong women who don’t need me too.’

A guy in my neighbourhood pursued me relentlessly. I was 13 and was going to afternoon session school. That guy followed me everywhere I went – he was 18 – 20 years old range, a school dropout involved in gangsterism. I didn’t even look his way – he was always with the boys and their routine is to harass me daily as I walked home from where the school bus dropped me.

One evening, the boy blocked my way as I was walking and demanded that I hear his proposal and accept it. I said, ‘No’, pushed him with the books I held in my hands and walked into the rented annex which I called home. My mom and the other couple renting the portion along with us were away at work. The boy followed me into the house and entered my room along with me. Although I was shit scared, I grabbed the aerosol insect spray can on my study table and told him to get out or I will spray it on his face. He left. I thought he won’t disturb me again.

The next night, as I cycled back home from tuition, the boy and his gang started following me on their bikes. I veered into the gravel alley in panic and fell down. The boys surrounded me and the boy who proposed me grabbed me by the hair to make me stand up and then held me by my waist and mouth from my back and dragged me to a distance and angrily said, “You will spray me? Bitch, you won’t accept me? You dare to say no to me? You are going to pay for your arrogance.” And, he molested me, touched my body as I squirmed to get free from his grip. He started dragging me again and I don’t know what would have happened to me if a Chinese uncle didn’t come by and interfered.

Now, at 15, I was still living at the rental portion and my Chinese landlord’s son was a Peeping Tom – the aunty who was renting the portion with me and my mom and her visiting nieces know of this boy’s dirty hobby. We had stuffed newspaper bundles in the wooden planks crevices of the bathroom through which we found this boy peeping when we relieve ourselves and take a bath. But, we never caught him red-handed.

One afternoon, I returned home from morning session school and went to the bathroom. When I opened the bathroom door, the boy ran like a maimed roach – I knew he was peeping on me. In anger and wiser that I have people to corroborate my claim, I wrote a note scolding the boy severely, scrunched it into a ball, walked out, called the boy out and threw the note at his face and told him to read it.

The next day when I returned home from school, I found an apology note from him slotted in the door – he expressed remorse, appreciated me not telling his parents, apologised and swore that he won’t do it again.

So, yes, being wise is also strong. Not all women are blessed with the advantage of being aggressive at their sexual predator especially in a society that values male entitlement. Not all men are like the Chinese boy – immediately knowing that what he had done is wrong at his victim’s aggressive reaction. Many have the mindset of the boy who proposed me, “Bitch, how dare you resist me, you will pay!”

So, Strong women don’t have me too stories, get over it already. You do have a me-too story. Every sexually harassed person has me too story. Don’t be so self-absorbed and fucking myopic. GROW UP.

#Rosa
#KannammaaKK